Hrmm... I had a crazy week.
Up and downs and then all around. Challenges to myself.... being honest to my actions and my own feelings. I really want to thank the beautiful souls in my life that keep my grounded.
Thank you Vanessa for being the beautiful, cute, endearing, talented, and inspiringly strong spirit that you are. Our conversations always end in making me feel connected to what really matters. You really help me feel again.
Thank you Alejandra, my beautiful crazy housemate that has sharp words but even sharper insight. You are amazing and super strong. Thank you for staying you... even though I know it's hard sometimes... ha.
Thank you Justin.... you are so fucking inspiring for someone so young. I am sad to have met you during the last vestige of my college career, but I am lucky to have met and bonded with you at all. It is my real privilege to call you my dear friend.
I just wanted to openly thank these people and the many more in my life that have helped me process and challenge my own shit and let me love myself and the world again. I am so grateful and appreciative that words cannot truly express how I am feeling.
I sometimes feel I don't really deserve all of this honest and brutal love that I have received. Thank you for the forgiveness that I don't deserve.
I am feeling that I can be a better person. A more compassionate, loving, respectful, peaceful person. I need to remind myself of the respect that I want and that I must give for me to receive that. I need to remind myself of how secure I am in my feelings and my identity. I am everything and nothing at all. I am the one that holds part of the world on my back because not everyone would want to help carry it. I am the one that is reaffirmed by not just the love of people but the oppression that causes so much suffering. I am human. I am emotions. I am finally starting to feel again.
I am eternally grateful for being blessed with such understanding souls. I really vow to myself that I will become a better person.
I promise to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind. To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true. To think only the best, to work only for the best, and expect only the best. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature I meet with a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of myself that I have no time to criticize others.