beauty in the breakdown

hard knock journal

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my dearest sisters
my dearest sisters,

how are you?
i've been feeling you might be needing me
your contrived bravado
your nonchalant descriptions
of your self-destruction
your rawness covered with so much sawdust
you feel yourself made into wood
strong, wise, hard
hard enough to endure
hard enough to move pass pain
strong enough to brave the windstorms of life

but sister, i see you.

i see your rawness as it is
i see it bleeding you out
i see your heart break into so many pieces
each shard a sharp reminder
of blood spilled
heart broken
hope lossed
spirit bankrupted
soul numbed

eyes that glaze over
like doughnuts
sweet by touch but heart attack
if ingested
it tells me hazy images of slaps, stripper poles,
grabby hands, dirty money and frozen friends in alleyways
heart beating outside your parent's house
still waiting for them to lock it safely away

your strength
our strength
to survive past
torn skin
black eyes
ripped vaginas
cold stares
beating hearts waiting
to be whole

let me
that sawdust off
let me kiss your wounds
bandage it with a million cries of freedom
let me pick up the shards of your heart
and glue it with redemption
etch hope and strength behind your ears
and whisper Sister, you are not alone.


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